Retirement Wishes – Retirement Quotes

Following are the funny retirement wishes, inspirational retirement wishes and retirement quotes with images. Just add “Congratulations on your Retirement!” at the end of the quote.

Retirement Wishes – Retirement Quotes

“Do you think that life after retirement is an adventure? Well, it is if you count trekking out of bed, climbing atop sofas and diving into takeaways.” Congratulations on your Retirement!

“If we wait until retirement to enjoy ourselves, there may not be enough of ourselves to enjoy it.” » Mike Hammar

“Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.” » Harry Vardon

“I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.”

“Confucius said “Choose a work that you love and you won’t have to work another day.” But doesn’t that ruin retirement?.”

“If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don’t have to waste energy going back to pick it up.” » Tommy Bolt

“Reaching retirement age is like getting to the top of a cliff. You will be at the zenith of your career, well knowing that the next step is a downward plunge.”

“Retirement is a time to make the inner journey and come face to face with your flaws, failures, prejudices, and all the factors that generate thoughts of unhappiness. Retirement is not a time to sleep, but a time to awaken to the beauty of the world around you and the joy that comes when you cast out all the negative elements that cause confusion and turmoil in your mind and allow serenity to prevail.” » Howard Salzman

“Retirement is the ugliest word in the language.” » Ernest Hemingway

“For someone as lazy as you, retirement will make no difference in your life except the fact that you can now do nothing officially. Happy Retirement!”


Inspirational Funny Senior Citizens Quotes – Old People

“Golf is played, Worldwide, by retirees whose wives think they are out having fun.”

“The worst of work nowadays is what happens to people when they cease to work.Gilbert K. Chesterton.”

“The new retirement reality may be a messy proposition.” » Alicia Munnell

“Retired is being twice tired, I’ve thought First tired of working, Then tired of not.” » Richard Armour

“The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off and public holidays just cause crowds.” » Abe Lemons

“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.” » Chi Chi Rodriguez

“Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.” » Malcolm Forbes

“Creativity in retirement is knowing how to spend time without spending money.”

“In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It’s either that or buy a new golf ball.” » Gene Perret

“In retirement pretend to the young ‘uns that it is a rejection, like being thrown on to the scrap-heap, while inside, regard it as a prolonged holiday.”

“The concept of freedom is never truly realized until one settles into retirement mode.” » A. Major

“Don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire.” » Samuel Johnson

“I never stopped doing anything, I stopped getting paid for it.” » Bill Chavanne

“A successful team is a group of many hands but of one mind. We were glad to work with a boss like you and wish you a happy retirement!”

“Remember all those things that you wanted to do in your life, but didn’t because you never had the time? Don’t plan on doing them after your retirement either – you will either be too old or too poor to afford them now.”

“Most people spend their whole lives planning their retirement but when they actually retire, they don’t know what to do. Don’t let this happen to you.”

“Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.”


“I used to have dreams that I died at my desk. Now that I’ve retired, I don’t have those dreams anymore.” » Haselback

“Retirement spoils weekends and public holidays.”

“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” » Bill Watterson

“I don’t really have any career goals at this point. I’m 35 and have no need or plans to ever work again.” » Eric Kanowsky

“There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won’t cure, but I don’t know many of them.” » Sylvia Plath

“Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can’t retire his experience. He must use it.” » Bernard Baruch

“It sounds like an exciting opportunity for you, but I still can’t believe you are leaving! I’m looking forward to hearing all about it soon! HAPPY RETIREMENT”

“It is better to live rich than to die rich.

“Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, “Hi, Honey, I’m home — forever.” » Gene Perret

“I have retired, unretired, and retired again all in the past 10 years.

“I really stay busy. I often have to cancel my golf games on the weekends to go play in tennis tournaments.” » Richard Davies

“In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.” » Mason Cooley

“The sports car and sailboat are investments for my retirement. I’m using them to attract a woman who will support me in my old age.” » Glasbergen talking to financial consultant in cartoon

“I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.” » John Burrough

“You can be young without money but you can’t be retired without it.”

“Preparation for old age should begin not later than one’s teens. A life which is empty of purpose until 65 will not suddenly become filled on retirement.” » Arthur E. Morgan


“I’m retired — goodbye tension, hello pension!

“The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.” » Phyllis Diller

“Retirement is the turning point in your life which makes you realize that you had your priorities messed up all this while. Congratulations! HAPPY RETIREMENT!”

“In retirement you should be recycled for public service work, with your company footing the bill. The World can no longer afford to scrap-pile people.” What utter twaddle…enjoy life on the scrap pile, buddy.”

“We have no porch, no rocking chair — and no time. My biggest need is a calendar because there are so many things to do. Now I encourage people to retire — the younger the better.” » Maurice Musholt

“I only work every couple of years. I go into retirement between films.” » Paul Hogan

“The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.” » George Bernard Shaw

“It’s true. There really is life after retirement.”

“In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day.” » Terri Guillemets

“Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.”

“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt.” » Dean Martin

“Thanks for making our work life much easier and funny. Now you can unwind your mind and spend some time with your family and best friends. HAPPY RETIREMENT”

“I’m not just retiring from the company, I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.” » Hartman Jule

“Denial is not a retirement plan.” » Sydney Lagier

“God’s retirement plan is out of this world. So may your retirement be long and happy.”

“By the age of 65, most of us have accomplished whatever work-related goals we are going to reach. If you haven’t done it by then, chances are you aren’t going to do it. Take the retirement, take the pension, take the Social Security, and sail off into the sunset.” » Sue Lasky


“Stay busy. If you are going to sit on the couch and watch TV, you are going to die.” » Bill Chavanne

“If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles.” » Doug Larson

“Don’t feel old. Don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for you to take a nap. Isn’t retirement a blast?.”

“The money’s no better in retirement but the hours are! ” » Terri Guillemets

“You did the best thing. You started thinking about your retirement before your boss did.”

“Retirement to me does not mean nothing to do but the realization of the decisions I made in the past. That I made in my life.” » Jack Bowman

“The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.” » George Foreman

“Retirement itself is the best gift. No gold watch could ever top it.” » Abigail Charleson

“Health, family, friends and relationships are some of the things that you sacrificed in your life so that you could work harder and earn more money. Now you will realize that you need these things to enjoy retirement. Such is the irony of life.”

“Thank God retirement is mandatory and not an option. Otherwise I would be stuck with an annoying colleague like you.”

“The beginning of health is to know the disease.” » Spanish Proverb

“Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” » Jonathan Clements

“It doesn’t matter whether you behave like a grumpy retiree or not because people are going to assume that anyways.”

“Retirement will become evident to me at the time.” » Peter Brock

Beautiful Goodbye Quotes – Farewell My friend

“Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.” » George Burns

“What will I do with myself when I retire? When I quit my job, I do not want to quit living. Can I possibly be of use when retirement day comes, or will I just be taking up space?” » J. A. West


“If you want to retire happy, great health is important. The foundation for all happiness lies in health. Physical, mental, or spiritual health — you must use it or lose it!— from How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free

“You know you’re retired when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”

“Retirement . . . is when you stop living at work and begin working at living.

“Congratulations on your retirement but don’t get too eager to relax yet. Get ready to tire yourself out with grandkids, gardening and many other chores.”

“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” » Ogden Nash

“We’ve put more effort into helping folks reach retirement age than into helping them enjoy it.

“Retirement: When you have given so much of yourself to the Company that you don’t have anything left that the company can use.”

“We’ll rock till we drop. We have all agreed this won’t be the last time. Everyone’s rocking.” » Ronnie Wood

“Retirement is just a nice word to say that you are getting too old to work. Congratulations for stepping into this league, old timer.”

“Aren’t you glad you stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.”

“All firms needs good people like you. Your success is not a surprise! May you meet more glory in your life ahead. HAPPY RETIREMENT!”

“Planning not to retire is simply not a viable retirement strategy.” » Catherine Collinson, Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies

“In retirement, only money and symptoms are consequential.” » Mason Cooley

“As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning.” » Earl Nightingale

“Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend time without spending money.”

“Don’t act your age. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” » J. A. West


“Retirement is having nothing to do and someone always keeping you from it.” » Robert Brault,

“Life begins at retirement.”

“Retirement is when you will finally curse yourself for using an important deadline at work as an excuse for not taking care of your body all these years.”

“It’s a good, quiet retirement. Most days I do nothing, but it takes me all day to do it.” » Barry Wilkin

“Being retired is the only time in your life when you won’t mind if you don’t get a holiday.”

“I’m now as free as the breeze — with roughly the same income.” » Gene Perret

“When you see some people work you wonder what they will do in retirement.”

“Advantage of retiring at 65; Most of the people that I owe apologies to are all dead.”

“In this country . . . men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire.” » Charles Francis Adams, Sr.

“I try to treat each evening and weekend as little slices of retirement because no one is guaranteed a lengthy one at the end of their career.” » Mike Hammar

“When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.” » R.C. Sherriff

“I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They’re called naps.” » Merri Brownworth

“Retire? I’m going to stay in show business until I’m the only one left.” » George F. Burns

“The challenge of retirement is how to spend time without spending money.”

“I’m regularly asked what my plan is, and I deliberately don’t have much of a plan. I’ve had lots of plans in my life and it might be nice to have a period that is less planned.” » Malcolm Hamilton

“Retirement is the beginning of life, not the end.”


“In retirement, there’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”

“There’s no retirement for an artist, it’s your way of living so there’s no end to it.” » Henry Moore

“Retirement is a great opportunity  to become the person you have always wanted to be — but have never been.” » Dave Erhard

“The funny thing about retirement is that it makes you realize the importance of medical insurance.”

“Retirement has been a discovery of beauty for me. I never had the time before to notice the beauty of my grandkids, my wife, the tree outside my very own front door. And, the beauty of time itself.” » Hartman Jule

“Congratulations for gaining two new best friends upon your retirement. Their names are Bed and Couch. You will be hanging out with them a lot.”

“Before deciding to take early retirement from your job, stay home a week and watch daytime television.”

“Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. Then you retire and the world gets better, but relatively more expensive.”

“Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” » Will Rogers

“Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!— Workplace graffiti

“Retirement is just a nice way for the company to tell you that they have found more energetic, talented, youthful and skilled staff than you.”

“Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does.”

“You have done a fine job here for many years. You are a very responsible person and sure deserve the position in new job that they are giving you. Congratulations!”

“If I’d known that retirement was going to be this good I’d have done it the day after I left school !!!” » Mickey White

“Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.” » Herbert Asquith

“I’ve been attending lots of seminars in my retirement. They’re called naps.” » Merri Brownworth


“It’s tough to get reallocated when you’re the one who’s redundant.” » MacDonald’s Law

“Your best retirement plan for retiring happy and prosperous — don’t be a burden on others.” » Ernie Zelinski

“Age appears to be best in four things — old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read.” » Francis Bacon

“A retired husband is often a wife’s full-time job.” » Ella Harris

“It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.” » Jackie Mason

“Every day of your retired life will feel like a happy Friday night. But it’s useless because being old will make you feel dull like Monday morning all the time.”

“After you’re older, two things are possibly more important than any others: health and money.” » Helen Gurley Brown

“Heaven, that’s my retirement plan.” » Dwayne

“Retirement – the only real excuse you’ll ever have to spend your entire life’s savings. Have fun. HAPPY RETIREMENT!”

“If you take care of the small things, the big things take care of themselves. You can gain more control over your life by paying closer attention to the little things.” » Emily Dickinson

“Retirement: Twice the husband, half the money!

“I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.” » Voltaire

“Until now, when you slacked at work your boss shouted at you. Now when you slack at household chores, your wife will shout at you.”

“Some people just know how to bring out the best in others. You are this type of coworker! Thank you for everything you did. Good bye and good luck!”

“A half-hour walk is the most beneficial thing you can do for your ailments.” » The Joy of Not Working

“If folk really concentrated on the important things in life, there would be a shortage of fishing rods, golf clubs, empty tables at countryside restaurants which would be disastrous for us retirees.”


“I’m retired — I’m not dead!

“Eating’s going to be a whole new ball game. I may even have to buy a new pair of trousers.” » Lester Piggott

“If my dreams could all come true, retirement would be  in a little bungalow somewhere by the sea.

“Aren’t you glad you put off being young until now, as you retire.”

“Now as you retire, we are missing our great colleague at work. Wishing you a stress-free life full of success and happiness!”

“Retirement is like a never-ending weekend party except that you can’t drink, can’t hook up and can’t stay up all night even if you want to so in short it is boring. Happy Retirement!”

“I have made enough faces.” » Greta Garbo

“Welfare is not a retirement plan.”

“Retire from work, but not from life.” » M. K. Soni

“When you retired and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, I do hope your colleagues didn’t present you with a watch.”

“Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” » Gene Perret

“Congratulations for your retirement. Now you will be forced to work on a never-ending project that will take up all your time and it’s called – Doing Nothing.”

“I’m not in retirement. I just don’t want to work so much, and I don’t get that many offers any more.” » Max von Sydow

“Some people say that retirement signifies the end of all of life’s tension but that’s true only if you have a grand pension.”

“I like retirement life. It’s something to do when no one wants you to work anymore.

“I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.” » Gene Perret


“Retirement is a one-way trip to insignificance.” » Mason Cooley

“Retirement means that we can base important decisions on whims.”

“It was absolutely boring. You can’t go and say, ‘I’m retired now. That’s it!’ It won’t take long and you’re really gone for good and someone throws the last shovel of dirt on a coffin with your name on it. That’s the moment you’re really retiring — when you die.” » Ozzy Osbourne

“Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder – are you still looking forward to retirement? Happy Retirement!”

“The Republican Party is a friend of Social Security the way Colonel Sanders was a friend of chickens.” » Charles T. Manatt

“When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” » Gene Perret