Insult Quotes

Following are the quotes and sayings about being rude, insulting and humiliating.

Insult Quotes

“What’s the point of putting on makeup, a monkey is gonna stay a monkey.”

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”

“Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?”

“I’m sorry you were offended when I called you a hoe. I didn’t know it was a secret.”

“I’m actually not funny. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.”

“I’m busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?”

“I love rumors. I always find out amazing things about myself I never knew.”

“When your mom dropped you off at the school, she got a ticket for littering.”

“If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you.” — Bruce Lee

“Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”

“I was wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don’t show.”

80 Funny Quotes & One Liners with Images

“I like half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve!” — J.R.R. Tolkien

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”

“I was wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don’t show.”

“If you don’t like me, take a map, get a car, drive to hell. Have a nice trip.”

“Is your ass jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth?”

“Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”

“If I say something that offends you, let me know so I can do it again later.”

“Excuse me miss, you’ve got a bit of face on your make up.”

“If common sense is common why are you without it?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had the authority to judge me. Who are you? God?”

“If lying was a job, I know some people who would be billionaires.”

“Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.”

“No need for insults, your face says it all.”

“You know why you hate me so much, Jeffery? Because I look the way you feel.” — Joe Pesci

“Why Don’t You Slip Into Something More Comfortable. Like A Coma?”

“I love that super cute thing you do where you don’t text me back for hours, adorable.”

“If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”

“I am just so talented. I can listen to music and ignore you at the same time.”

“Tell me, Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?”

“People like you are the reason we have middle fingers.”

“It’s ok if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.”

“Some think I wink at them when I shut my eyes to avoid their sight.” — Kahlil Gibran

“Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.” — Mark Twain

“I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.”

“Oh I didn’t realize you’re an expert in my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.”

“I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.”

“Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” — Oscar Wilde

“You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.”

“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.”

“Your lips are moving, but all I hear is “blah blah blah…””

“If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.”

“Wow! You have a huge pimple in between your shoulders! Oh wait that’s your face.”

“Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.” — Oscar Wilde

“I may be drunk, miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

“Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”

“I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.”

Funny and Inspirational Sarcastic Quotes

“You’re so ugly that when you cry, the tears roll down the back of your head just to avoid your face.”

“Oh, my bad. I’m sorry for bothering you. I forgot I only exist when you need me for something.”

“Your intelligence is my common sense.”

“Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.”

“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, But it’s still on the list.”

“Ignore me, I don’t care I’m used to it anyways, I’m invisible.”

“I’m sorry if you don’t like my honesty, but to be fair, I don’t like your lies.”