Famous W. C. Fields Quotes

If At First You Don'T Succeed, Try, Try Again

William Claude Dukenfield better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. He was born on January 29, 1880 and died on December 25, 1946.

Following are the funny and inspiring W. C. Fields best quotes with images.

Famous W. C. Fields Quotes

“A man’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.”

“A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.”

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.”

“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.”

Funny Quotes – One Liners

“Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.”

A Rich Man Is Nothing But A Poor Man With Money. » W.C. Fields

“Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.”

“Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we’ll be seeing six or seven.”

“Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.”

“Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.”

“I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.”

“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”

“I don’t have to attend every argument I’m invited to.”

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“I drink therefore I am.”

I Always Cook With Wine. Sometimes I Even Add It To The Food. » W.C. Fields

“I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”

“If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullsh**.”

“It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.”

150 Funny Quotes about Women

“It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.”

“It’s morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.”

“I’d rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.”

“Never give a sucker an even break.”

Start Every Day With A Smile And Get It Over With. » W.C. Fields

“Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she’ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.”

“No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it’s only a question of degree.”

“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.”

“Sleep – the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.” Movies

“Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.”

“Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.”

“The only thing a lawyer won’t question is the legitimacy of his mother.”

“Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.”

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