Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes Wishes – Happy Men’s Day

Written by Austen
 

International Men’s Day (IMD) is celebrated on 19 November annually.

Ingeborg Breines 

“This is an excellent idea and would give some gender balance.”

Following are the best selected inspiring men quotes , funny men quotes and Happy men’s day wishes with images.

SCROLL DOWN for Men’s Day Wishes

Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“The trouble with women is that they get all excited about nothing…and then marry him!”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can’t help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, “How can he want me the way I look in the morning?” It’s because we can’t see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.” » Sean Morey


“Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass to pay for it all.” Funnypica.com


“If gay men could be reformed, I would never look at a heterosexual man again.”


While Creating Men, God Promised Women That A Good And Ideal Man Would Be Found In All Corners Of The World, Then. He Made The Earth Round.


“What women want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What men want: Tickets to the World Series.”


“I like naked women. I’m a bloke. I’m supposed to like them. We’re born like that. We like naked women as soon as we’re pulled out of one…. When man invented fire, he didn’t say, “Hey, let’s cook.” He said, “Great, now we can see naked bottoms in the dark”… The story of male achievement through the ages, feeble though it may have been, has been the story of our struggle to get a better look at your bottoms.” » Coupling – Inferno


When It Comes To Hiding Porn, Every Man Is A CIA Agent. » S.A. Sachs


“If it can’t be fixed by duct tape or WD-40, it’s a female problem.” » Jason Love


“Men aren’t the way they are because they want to drive women crazy, they’ve been trained to be that way for thousands of years. And that training makes it very difficult for men to be intimate.”


150 Funny Quotes about Women


“The problem with most men is they’re assholes. The problem with most women is they put up with those assholes.”


Though We Adore Men Individually, We Agree That As A Group They'Re Rather Stupid.


“A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.” » Mae West


“A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.” » Saint Basil


“A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love.” » Max Muller


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.” » Rita Mae Brown


“A good man doesn’t just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump, like a doughnut. So first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap they pick up from beer commercials. And then there’s my personal favorite…the male ego.”


“There are some men who, in a spirit of arrogance, think they are superior to women. They do not seem to realize that they would not exist but for the mother who gave them birth. When they assert their superiority they demean her.” » Gordon B. Hinckley


A Gentleman Is Simply A Patient Wolf. » Lana Turner


“The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” » Thomas Paine


“A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.” » Ayn Rand


“When you see a woman who can go nowhere without a staff of admirers, it is not so much because they think she is beautiful, it is because she has told them they are handsome.” » Jean Giraudoux


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” » George Carlin”


“A lot of guys think the larger a woman’s breasts are, the less intelligent she is. I don’t think it works like that. I think it’s the opposite. I think the larger a woman’s breasts are, the less intelligent the men become.” » Anita Wise


“When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“It’s not the men in my life, it’s the life in my men. .” » Mae West


“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” » Lily Tomlin


“When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.” » Elayne Boosie


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Men should be saying “I want to become a woman.” The world would be a far better place if more men wanted to become women, than women wanted to become men.”


“I’m not a lesbian. I hate men, but I’m not a lesbian.”


“When I think of a merry, happy, free girl…and look at the ailing, aching state a wife is generally doomed to…which you can’t deny is the penalty of marriage.”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“I identify more with women than with men. I guess I have a strong feminine side.” » Lenny Kravitz


“Most men act so tough and strong on the outside because on the inside, we are scared, weak and fragile. Men, not women, are the weaker sex.”


“God gave us all a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one at a time.” » Robin Williams


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“I never understood why we call men “pigs” and “dogs”…pigs are smart and dogs are loyal.”


“You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!.” » Bill Maher


“Women are never disarmed by compliments; men always are.” » Oscar Wilde


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?”


“After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things. First, never wallpaper together and second, you’ll need 2 bathrooms…both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.”


MENopause, MENstrual Cramps, MENtal Illness, MENtal Breakdowns…Ever Notice That All Of Your Problems Begin With Men


“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” » Nelson Mandela


“Man came down from the tree, then he cut the tree down.”


Funny Inspirational Quotes


“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.” » Albert Einstein


Men Want The Same Thing From Their Underwear That They Want From Women A Little Bit Of Support, And A Little Bit Of Freedom. » Jerry Seinfeld


“A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.” » Lana Turner


“Few women care what a man looks like, and a good thing too.” » Mignon McLaughlin


“God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.” » Jacques Deval Academictips.org


Men Want A Woman Whom They Can Turn On And Off Like A Light Switch. » Ian Fleming


“Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.”


“A father… knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested.” » Bill Cosby


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else in the house.” » Jean Kerr


“Men are all alike — except the one you’ve met who’s different.” » Mae West


“How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Men are easy to get but hard to keep.” » Mae West


“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.” » Katharine Hepburn


“The first time you buy a house you see how pretty the paint is and buy it. The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. It’s the same with men.” » Lupe Velez


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.”


“Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The male half of the population will be nothing but mindless drooling Zombies of Lust. Granted, this is also true now, but it will be even worse.” » Dave Barry


“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” » Franz Schubert


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“I never married because there was no need. I have 3 pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.”


“The average man is more interested in a woman who is interested in him than he is in a woman with beautiful legs.” » Marlene Dietrich


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“A man snatches the first kiss, pleads for the second, demands the third, takes the fourth, accepts the fifth — and endures all the rest.” » Helen Rowland


“Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.” » Oscar Wilde


“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.” » Maryon Pearson


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“I’d like to live like a poor man – only with lots of money.” » Pablo Picasso


“Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is.”


“I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“I was given such a great gift. It’s a miracle that never stops amazing me and reminding me to give thanks, every day. Having a wife and daughter gives me a lot more purpose. I was much more selfish before, but now I think about what kind of role model I’ll be. I just want to be a better man.” » Jake Owen


“Marriage is a mistake every man should make.”


“Men can read maps better than women. ‘Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles.” » Roseanne Barr


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“The older theory was, marry an older man because they’re more mature. But the new theory is men don’t mature. Marry a younger one.”


“While creating men, God promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world, then. He made the earth round.”


“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.” » Albert Einstein


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“When it comes to hiding porn, every man is a CIA agent.” » S.A. Sachs


“MENopause, MENstrual cramps, MENtal illness, MENtal breakdowns…ever notice that all of your problems begin with men?”


“It’s a man’s world, and you men can have it.” » Katherine Anne Porter


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Every woman must admit, and every man with as much sense as a woman, that it’s very hard to make a home for any man if he’s always in it.” » Winifred Kirkland


“The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby.” » Natalie Wood


“How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he’s lost?”


Men Wake Up Aroused In The Morning. We Can'T Help It. We Just Wake Up And We Want You. And The Women Are Thinking, How Can He Want Me The Way I Look In The Morning


“I know many married men, I even know a few happily married men, but I don’t know one who wouldn’t fall down the first open coal hole running after the first pretty girl who gave him a wink.” » George Jean Nathan


“Don’t accept rides from strange men — and remember that all men are as strange as hell.” » Robin Morgan


“I know nothing about sex because I was always married.”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. ”


“I can eat a man, but I’m not sure of the fiber content.” » Jenny Eclair Pickthebrain.com


“I want a man who’s kind and understanding. Is that too much to ask of a millionaire?” » Zsa Zsa Gabor


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“He is every other inch a gentleman.” » Rebecca West


“A man’s home may be his castle on the outside; inside, it is more often his nursery.” » Clare Boothe Luce


“Men are clinging to football on a level we aren’t even aware of.& For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women. It’s our Alamo.” » Tony Kornheiser


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“The anger that appears to be building up between the sexes becomes more virulent with every day that passes. And far from women taking the blame…the fact is that men are invariably portrayed as the bad guys. Being a good man is like being a good Nazi.”


“How beautiful maleness is, if it finds its right expression.” » D.H. Lawrence


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“A smart man makes a mistake, learns from it, and never makes that mistake again. But a wise man finds a smart man and learns from him how to avoid the mistake altogether.” » Roy H. Williams


“Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.”


“Men want a woman whom they can turn on and off like a light switch.” » Ian Fleming


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“I’m a babe magnet… just the wrong end.”


“If men had more up top we’d need less up front.” » Jaci Stephen


“We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.” » Lily Tomlin


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?” » Oscar Wilde


“Though we adore men individually, we agree that as a group they’re rather stupid.”


“There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man.” » Winston Churchill


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Alas! it is not the child but the boy that generally survives in the man.” » Arthur Helps


“At the zoo, all the animals have a decent composure, except for the monkeys. You get the feeling man is very close to them.” » Emil Cioran


“Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men. The other 999 follow women.” » Groucho Marx


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“If they can put one man on the moon why can’t they put them all there?” » Chocolate Waters


“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.” » David Brinkley


“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” » Jim Carrey


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.”


“I wonder why men get serious at all. They have this delicate, long thing hanging outside their bodies which goes up and down by its own will. If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself.” » Yoko Ono


“Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.” » Jerry Seinfeld


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“I first learned the concepts of non-violence in my marriage.”


“Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. .” » Oscar Wilde


“So many men so little asprin.”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.” » Mae West


“A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position.” » Oscar Wilde


“How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“The ideal man goes home early, doesn’t flirt, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t gamble and doesn’t exist.”


“Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography.” » Robert Byrne


“Men feel that women somehow drag them down, and women feel that way about men. It’s possible that both are right.” » Mignon McLaughlin


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“Men are a luxury, not a necessity ,”


“The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.” » Jeanne-Marie Roland


“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” » Bob Marley


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.” » Rita Rudner


“Men are like a fine wine. They start out like grapes, and it’s our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.”


“I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”


“The dread of lonliness is greater than the dread of bondage, so we get married.”


“Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.” » Kin Hubbard


“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?” » Linda Ellerbee


Give A Man A Free Hand And He'Ll Run It All Over You. » Mae West


“Is there a cure for a broken heart? Only time can heal your broken heart, just as time can heal his broken arms and legs.” Pinterest.com


“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.” » Robert Bloch


“If women were as fastidious as men, morally or physically, there would be an end of the race.”


Inspiring & Funny Men Quotes


“A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.” » John C. Maxwell


“Many a man owes his success to his first wife, and his second wife to his success.” » Jim Backus


“If a man wants to truely communicate with a woman, he must enter her world of emotions.”


“All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.” » Cynthia Heimel


You’Re Wrong If You Think That What Makes You A Better Man Is To Have More Women, Buy A Better Car, Or Change The Way You Speak, The Only Thing That Measures Your Manhood Is Your Ability To Love


“Men are like chocolate bars…they’re sweet and smooth but head straight for your hips.”


“Man needs his difficulties because they are necessary to enjoy success.” » A. P. J. Abdul Kalam


“I don’t want a boyfriend just for the sake of it. I don’t trust most people out there. There’s too much at risk and I don’t need to be a notch on somebody’s bedpost. I’ll flirt with you all night long, but then it’s buh, bye!”


 

Happy Men’s Day Wishes


💪”A big hello to all men who put aside his manhood to say I am sorry, Happy Men’s Day!❤️


A Big Hello To All Men Who Put Aside His Manhood To Say I Am Sorry, Happy Men’S Day!


💪”Men are persons that are so incomprehensible but at the same time so extraordinary, Happy Men’s Day!” ❤️


💪”There is nothing better than to see men fighting for a better world, it is really worthy of admiration, Happy Men’s Day!” ❤️


It’S Beautiful When A Man Is Kind To You And Shows You All The Love He Has For You Because He Does Not Care What People Say, Happy Men’S Day!


💪”Thanks to the strength and intelligence of many men, we have had many successes in the world, so we wish you a Happy Men’s Day!” ❤️


💪”The beauty of all men is that each one has a special quality, and it’s nice when you discover their true heart, Happy Men’s Day!” ❤️


Thanks To The Strength And Intelligence Of Many Men, We Have Had Many Successes In The World, So We Wish You A Happy Men’S Day!


💪”Today I wish happiness for men of this world as they deserve it because they have contributed to the continuity of the human species” ❤️


💪”Being a good man means being a good son, a good brother, a good friend, a good father, a hardworker, all this is what dignifies a man” ❤️


Today Is The Day Of The People I Love The Most In This World My Cute Dad And My Brothers He Gave Me, Thank You All For The Great Love You Give Me, Happy Men’S Day!


“I am very happy because I know that there are real men out there who know what they want and make their decisions firmly, Happy Men’s Day!” ❤️


45 ♥ Happy Women’s Day Wishes


💪”The fact of being men gives us the strength to take care of our families, because a real man does anything to see their loved ones smiling” ❤️


The Beauty Of All Men Is That Each One Has A Special Quality, And It’S Nice When You Discover Their True Heart, Happy Men’S Day!


💪”It’s beautiful when a man is kind to you and shows you all the love he has for you because he does not care what people say, Happy Men’s Day!” ❤️


💪”We know that many men find it hard to accept when they feel they have fallen in love, but I am so pride when they finally do, Happy Men’s Day!” ❤️


We Know That Many Men Find It Hard To Accept When They Feel They Have Fallen In Love, But I Am So Pride When They Finally Do, Happy Men’S Day!


💪”I wish a happy day to all important men in my life, and I also want to tell my dad and my sweet cute grandpa that I love them with all my heart” ❤️


💪”Being a real man does not mean to fight or to be always in problems, it means to act in a peaceful manner without generating conflicts, Happy Men’s Day!” ❤️


Happy Men's Day


💪”Today is the day of the people I love the most in this world my cute dad and my brothers he gave me, thank you all for the great love you give me, Happy Men’s Day!” ❤️


💪”You’re wrong if you think that what makes you a better man is to have more women, buy a better car, or change the way you speak, the only thing that measures your manhood is your ability to love” ❤️


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *