Boss Quotes – Inspiring and Funny

Written by Austen
 

Boss’s Day is a holiday celebrated on October 16 (or the nearest working day – Friday) annually by employees to show gratitude towards their bosses for being kind and fair.

Following are the best inspirational boss quotes, executive quotes and funny boss quotes and slogans with images for boss day.

Boss Quotes


“The boss is always right.”


“Cash in must exceed cash out.”


You Should Smile More Frequently – The Boss Likes Idiots!


“The boss is not drinking- he’s tasting.”


“The boss is not sleeping- he’s resting.” Laughfactory.com


“I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”


“I am not bossy. I just have better Ideas.”


Working In A Team Means Spending Half Your Time Convincing The Others That Your Idea Is Better Than Theirs.


“Think before you act: it’s not your money.”


“Old bosses never die, much as you want them to.”


“Either an executive can do his job or he can’t.”


“A leader leads by example, not by force.” » Sun Tzu


Why Join The Navy If You Can Be A Pirate » Steve Jobs


“The boss is not eating- he’s gathering his strength.”


“If you are attempting the impossible, you will fail.”


“My boss did a boss job healing the boss’s itchy boss.”


“No executive devotes effort to proving himself wrong.”


Think Before You Act It'S Not Your Money.


“Why join the navy if you can be a pirate?” » Steve Jobs


“The boss is not late- he’s being held up in a meeting.”


“All good management is the expression of one great idea”


Retirement Wishes – Retirement Quotes


“If you are doing something wrong, you will do it badly.”


There'S No Reason To Be The Richest Man In The Cemetery. You Can'T Do Any Business From There. » Colonel Sanders


“You should smile more frequently – the boss likes idiots!”


“The boss never makes any mistakes- the employees do them.”


“I don’t work on weekends, or any other day that ends with “Y”.”


“Don’t blame the boss. He has enough problems.” » Donald Rumsfeld


The Only Time Some People Work Like A Horse Is When The Boss Rides Them. » Gabriel Heatter


“Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.” » Kin Hubbard


“Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film.”


“Aim low, reach your goals, and avoid disappointment.” » Scott Adams


“Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.” » Dr. Lawrence Peter


The Boss Never Makes Any Mistakes- The Employees Do Them.


“Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.” » George Burns


“Ability is what will get you to the top, if the boss has no daughter”


“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?” » Homer Simpson


“If at first you don’t succeed, take the tax loss.” » Kirk Kirkpatrick



The Higher A Monkey Climbs, The More You See Of His Behind. » Gen. Joe Stillwell


“The easiest way of making money is to stop losing it.” » Robert Heller


“The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.”


“Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.” » Lily Tomlin


“Management capability is always less than the organization actually needs.”


The Only Place Success Comes Before Work Is In The Dictionary. » Vidal Sassoon


“Nothing is illegal if a hundred businessmen decide to do it.” » Andrew Young


“In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.” » Woody Allen


“If sophisticated calculations are needed to justify an action, don’t do it.”


“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” » Napoleon Bonaparte


The Boss Is Not Sleeping- He’S Resting.


“You can come in into the boss’s office with your ideas but come out with his.”


“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” » Vidal Sassoon


“The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.”


“The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind.” » Gen. Joe Stillwell


The Boss Is Always Right.


“There’s an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.” » Peter Drucker


“Who knows – does, who doesn’t know – teaches, who doesn’t know how to teach – leads.”


“We don’t have a monopoly. We have market share. There’s a difference.” » Steve Ballmer


“I’ve been promoted to middle management. I never thought I’d sink so low.” » Tim Gould


The Best Way To Appreciate Your Job Is To Imagine Yourself Without One. » Oscar Wilde


“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” » Oscar Wilde


“The boss is not harassing the young co-workers- he’s just showing the male attention.”


“To make a long story short, there’s nothing like having a boss walk in.” » Doris Lilly  Inc.com


“The executive exists to make sensible exceptions to general rules.” » Elting E. Morison


The Best Time To Start Thinking About Your Retirement Is Before The Boss Does.


“Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” » Winston Churchill


“Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.”


“The only time some people work like a horse is when the boss rides them.” » Gabriel Heatter


“When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.”


Right Now, This Is A Job. If I Advance Any Higher, This Would Be My Career. And If This Were My Career, I’D Have To Throw Myself In Front Of A Train. » Jim Halpert


“Rank does not confer privilege or give power. It imposes responsibility.” » Peter F. Drucker


“Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.”


“No great manager or leader ever fell from heaven; it’s learned, not inherited.” » Tom Northup


“Tell your boss what you really think about him, and the truth shall set you free, from your job.”


In Most Cases Being A Good Boss Means Hiring Talented People And Then Getting Out Of Their Way. » Tina Fey


“It’s not the people you fire who make your life miserable. It’s the people you don’t.” » Dick Grote


“Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.” » Doug Larson


“When my boss told me this is the fifth time I’m late, I smiled and thought to myself, it’s Friday!”


“The boss doesn’t read newspapers and magazines during work – he’s collecting important information.”


If You Are Attempting The Impossible, You Will Fail.


“So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work.” » Peter Drucker


“Show me a man who is a good looser and I’ll show a man who is playing golf with his boss.” » Jim Murray


“Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.” » Doug Larson


“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” » John Gotti


Don'T Blame The Boss. He Has Enough Problems. » Donald Rumsfeld


“Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.” » Jim Murray


“Increasingly, management’s role is not to organize work, but to direct passion and purpose.” » Greg Satell


“By working eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” Robert Frost


“Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them.” » John C. Maxwell


I Am Not Bossy. I Just Have Better Ideas.


“In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.” » Tina Fey


“Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs.”


“Being a boss anywhere is lonely. Being a female boss in a world of mostly men is especially so.” » Allison Gomme


“When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn’t hire stupid people.”


I Love My Job Only When I'M On Vacation.


“The person who knows how will always have job. The person who knows WHY will always be his boss.” » Diane Ravitch


“I am felling an unusual sensation – if it is not indigestion, I think it might be gratitude.” » Benjamin Disraeli


“There’s no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can’t do any business from there.” » Colonel Sanders


“Management by objective works – if you know the objectives. Ninety percent of the time you don’t.” » Peter Drucker


Don’T Stay In Bed, Unless You Can Make Money In Bed. » George Burns


“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” » Robert Frost


“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.” » WC Fields


Leadership Quotes


“A good boss is a person who can tolerate my complaints and still manage to say hello to me every day.” » Byron Pusifer


“Key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate you away from those who are still undecided.” » Casey Stengal


By Working Faithfully Eight Hours A Day You May Eventually Get To Be Boss And Work Twelve Hours A Day. » Robert Frost


“If you owe the bank $100 that’s your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.” » J. Paul Getty


“The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate you away from those who are still undecided.” » Casey Stengal


“The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of management is that success equals skill.” » Robert Heller


“Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.” » Karl Marx


Arguing With Your Boss Is Like Wrestling With A Pig In The Mud. After Some Time You Will Realize That You Are Getting Dirty And The Pig Is Enjoying It.


“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” » Bertrand Russell


“A good manager is a man who isn’t worried about his own career but rather the careers of those who work for him.” » H. S. M. Burns


“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, i can reach for; perfection is God’s business.” » Michael J. Fox


“If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.” » Cannon’s Law


A Good Boss Makes His Men Realize They Have More Ability Than They Think They Have So That They Consistently Do Better Work Than They Thought They Could. » Charles Erwin Wilson


“Don’t worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you’ll have to ram them down people’s throats” » Howard Aiken


“The secret of successful managing is to keep the five guys who hate you away from the four guys who haven’t made up their minds.” » Casey Stengel


“Asking ‘who ought to be the boss’ is like asking ‘who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?’ Obviously, the man who can sing tenor.” » Henry Ford


“Executives placed on pedestals fall from a great height. If the[se] 10 truths don’t keep you off the pedestal, at least the drop will be much shorter.”


A Good Manager Is A Man Who Isn'T Worried About His Own Career But Rather The Careers Of Those Who Work For Him. » H. S. M. Burns


“The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” » Robert Frost


“Arguing with your boss is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After some time you will realize that you are getting dirty and the pig is enjoying it.”


“Every time you make a rule you take away a choice, and choice, with all of its illuminating repercussions, is the fuel for learning.” » Marcus Buckingham


“Right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.” » Jim Halpert


A Leader Leads By Example, Not By Force. » Sun Tzu


“There is only one boss. The customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else.” » Sam Walton


“A good boss makes his men realize they have more ability than they think they have so that they consistently do better work than they thought they could.” » Charles Erwin Wilson


“If you don’t know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route.” » Malcolm S. Forbes Notalwaysworking.com


“If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that world word would be ‘meetings’.” » Dave Barry


If You Think Your Boss Is Stupid, Remember- You Wouldn'T Have A Job If He Was Any Smarter. » John Gotti


“Talent is the multiplier. The more energy and attention you invest in it, the greater the yield. The time you spend with your best is, quite simply, your most productive time.” » Marcus Buckingham


“A boss creates fear, a leader confidence. A boss fixes blame; a leader corrects mistakes. A boss knows all; a leader asks questions. A boss makes work drudgery; a leader makes it interesting.” » Russell H. Ewing


“Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure.” » Joseph Heller


“What it takes to do a job will not be learned from management courses. It is principally a matter of experience, the proper attitude, and common sense–none of which can be taught in a classroom … Human experience shows that people, not organizations or management systems, get things done.” » Hyman G. Rickover


“Dear God,
Give me the wisdom to understand my boss
Give me the love to forgive him
Give me the patience to understand his deeds
But dearest God, don’t give me the power because if you give me power,
I will break his head.”


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